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3.05.2004
Cosmic Humor Ancient teeth point to earliest humans / Researchers say new species may be oldest ancestor: "Scientists from Berkeley, Cleveland and Japan may have finally identified the first complete species of hominids, or human ancestors, that emerged almost 6 million years ago, after the evolutionary split that led to today's chimps and humans." LA LA LA LA LA I CANT HEAR YOU!!!!! ooh... nevermind... Sure its just a theory, in the sense that its the best scientific explanation for the evidence. Just like saying that we were created from Adam's Rib around 5000 years ago but God thought it would be funny to go back in time and spread around funky looking skulls and teeth. You know that little surge of glee you get from a particularly good idea, God felt that when he hit upon his best idea to throw us off the trail... Dinosaurs...? Giant lizards... !!! Travel around in time spreading around mutant skeletons? Brilliant!! But I feel we neglect another equally controversial theory that gets overlooked amidst the brouhaha over evolution (pronounced Evil-Looootion!!!); the Theory of Gravity. Can you believe we're still not sure how it works? We know that if you take two massive dinosaur teeth and hold them close together they'll attract each other but we're not sure why. We have an equation, but that's a little like having some million year old giant lizard teeth isn't it? You see, the fabric of space-time bends because of the mass of an object? But let's ask the Bible... "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." Genesis 1:1 And what... everything kept sticking together? No help there, God is really not very specific about how the whole universe works. He spends the rest of the time talking about the creation of the Earth. "God made two great lights-the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars. 17 God set them in the expanse of the sky to give light on the earth, 18 to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness." Genesis 1:16-18 You see, nobody makes a stink about the fact that the Bible calls the moon a light! And the stars? They're just up there to light the Earth? So what purpose do all those other planets outside our solar system serve? They don't provide light. They're just like the giant lizard teeth and the funky skulls or planets that want to crash into each other. God's little way of playing with our minds? What a joker! Somebody should tell the Oklahoma House it was all fun and games. OKLAHOMA CITY (CNHI) — The Oklahoma House passed a bill Monday that would require public school textbooks that discuss evolution to include a disclaimer stating that it is a controversial theory and not fact. Passed 96-0. “This textbook discusses evolution, a controversial theory which some scientists present as scientific explanation for the origin of living things, such as plants and humans. No one was present when life first appeared on earth. Therefore, any statement about life’s origins should be considered as theory, not fact.” I have my own disclaimer for the Bible: "This book is a work of fiction that some Clergy present as the religious explanation for the origins of living beings, such as plants and humans. No one was present when life first appeared on earth. Therefore any statement about life's origins should be considered fantasy, not fact." | |
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