"The rest of the country - go fuck yourselves.

18-30 year olds who couldn't be bothered to vote... Have fun getting an abortion from a coat hanger. Enjoy watching your mentally unstable neighbor assemble an arsenal without a waiting period. Save me a seat at your prayer circles and book burnings.

Minorities who voted Republican? I don't even know what to do with you people. If you think that the party of the KKK wants anything to do with you, would let you into its clubs and bars and organizations, have fun swimming in that delusion.

Women who voted Republican? This is a party that doesn't necessarily believe you should be paid equally. They certainly don't think you should get family leave since you shouldn't be working anyway. If that sits well with you, fine. Have fun feeding your kids government cheese.

Young men who voted Republican? Have fun at war. You know we rich northeastern types can buy our way out of the draft, and we don't have to enlist because we can afford college without the Montgomery GI Bill, which incidentally, has been progressively scaled back. So have a nice time dying in a foreign country for a war you can't even begin to understand except you think that somehow conquering Iraq will make you less vulnerable to terrorism. Enjoy that beer with your friends, buddy, because in good time, you'll be fucking dead.

Fiscal republicans? I respect you. I swear to fucking god I do. I like the idea of smaller government as it means we will have progressed as a society. We just don't happen to be ready for it yet. And if you are a social liberal and fiscal republican and voted republican anyway to demonstrate party loyalty and to get a couple more tax breaks. You are in for a real treat. Hope your kids don't do drugs cause they'll be stuck with mandatory minimums. Jail is fun. Watch Oz if you don't believe me.

And if you have an opinion on anything and didn't vote. Just stop breathing now. This world has no place for you.

The news organizations were all talking about a clash of cultures last night during election coverage. I'm ready to take a bold stand and say my culture is right and yours is wrong. And if you disagree with me it doesn't matter. You're about as likely to make your home in the queer-loving welfare-doling state of New York as I am to haul my ass down to is-there-even-electricity-there Alabama."

Posted by Bruce at 11/04/2004 10:55:00 AM |