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6.25.2004
A historical look at marriage Just a couple of quick thoughts on marriage: a more historical look. Because I know how much you love this current theme... ;-) Its ironic that gay marriage opponents look at this as a defining issue regarding marriage as an institution. A long term look at the evolution of marriage shows that heteros have done more to reshape and change marriage than allowing gays to marry ever will. From the Biblical days till now we can see that the utility of marriage has dwindled. No longer is marriage the predominate way of forming tribal alliances or linking larger social networks. In our modern world we have become more independent as individuals. We no longer rely so heavily on family units for our success. Many of us move out young and never look back. We see marriage not as a useful tool to create larger social networks but as an individual choice based on our own whims. While once commonplace to see parents exercising marital veto power, today we accept that two individuals can and will get hitched despite any family protestations. Stories like Romeo and Juliet just don't happen as much as they used to. Nowadays two kids would just run off, get and apartment together and get married anyways. Getting tossed out of your tribal circle is rough and emotionally damaging but not the deathly blow it once must have been. The evolution of marriage has followed the evolution of society. We have moved away from tribal forms of organization to more individual ones. In part this change has been fueled by consumer needs. We want to have possession of our "own stuff"; house, car, refrigerator. In the past it was necessary to pool resources for greater comfort. Three generations under one roof were more likely to thrive than one. People had large families for the purpose of providing for their own labor needs. Further back we see even larger units existing. In biblical times you see tribes that are in effect extended family units. You extend the power and size of your tribe by marrying off your children into other families. It was through this method that the family patriarchs formed useful alliances and kept the peace in the region. In the above context you can see just how vital an institution marriage must have been. If a couple could not keep a marriage together then a vital allegiance might be lost or a feud could begin. Married couples were denied the right to choose their mates and denied the right to terminate the marriage for any other reason other than death. Should death occur there were rules about just who could step in to keep that bond functional. But that world in which marriage played such a vital rule, acting as social glue, has largely disappeared. Not because of the acceptance of homosexuals but by the changes in the way in which we function as social units. In our present world marriage still functions as the primary method for bring two people together for the purpose of raising a family. But now that family is more likely to exist as a unit apart from larger tribal networks. If that marriage breaks apart the effects are mostly confined to the immediate family. Its still tragic for the people involved but we won't see any more Hatfield and McCoy type feuds erupting. The outside pressures on married people have all but disappeared. We now see marriage as the sole decision of the two people involved. We will not be returning to the Biblical times any time soon, for to do so would require a complete restructuring of our society. I don't think it could be done even if we wanted. We made a decision a long time ago that individual liberty is so desirable that we are willing to discard institutions that restrict our ability to determine our own individual fates. Growing prosperity and collective power has enabled the individual to exist on their own. The real crisis in marriage comes not from homosexuals but from its declining usefulness in our modern social organization. Aside from the legal privileges that people gain and the traditional (but weakened) social pressure to get married there seems little reason at all to enter into a marriage or even stay there. Some people have even decided to forgo the formality entirely and have redefined their relationships based entirely on love and a decision to stay with one partner. What same sex couples want now are those legal protections that are still holdovers from times past and a social acceptance of their love relationships. Progress has already started hammering in the nails on the traditional institution of marriage, its already dead. Don't blame the homosexuals, we did it to ourselves, and I for one, have no regrets. |
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