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5.22.2004
Spare a Dime? One advantage to dealing with the public in a retail setting is that you can witness patterns of human behavior. I enjoy doing this. I think I'm pretty good at it. The best compliment I ever received was from a friend that admitted he thought I was "insightful". My own humility prevents me from owning that compliment.. but he said it, not me! I'm pretty anti-social. I'm not the personality type that enjoys trying to communicate in a sea of people. I like one to one. I get to do that with customers. The "sale" is common ground where strangers can start a conversation. Most of the time my conversations with people center around their needs and how we can get them what they want and on their way. Sometimes, if the person seems willing and time permits we'll talk about other things other than the immediate task at hand. I enjoy that the most. I also think that it has improved my skills at finding common ground with people despite large gulfs in our backgrounds and our interests. You learn to identify common shared values and where common sense overrides the nonsense that gets fed into our brains day after day. I've also learned how to tell people "no". I enjoy it actually. Not because I take a certain kind of glee in being difficult because I feel I am doing a service to humanity. Ok, that's a stretch. But I do feel that something needs to be done to curb this growing assumption that you can get what you want by being an asshole about it. We have gone away from being a society that only complains when its warranted to one that complains as a part of our everyday lives. We feel that if we don't whine and complain that we are getting ripped off. What we don't understand is that the more we complain and whine the more companies will develop methods of screwing people with legitimate complaints to try to shield themselves from scammers. We always assume that people are trying to scam us so when people have real problems we don't know if to believe them. These days I have seen nice, decent people acting against their very nature and asking for freebies. You can tell that they are uncomfortable asking. They feel obligated to ask for free stuff because they believe that other people are getting better deals than they are by being assholes. I don't simply tell people no. That would lead to nasty confrontations. I inform them that I can't do what they are asking but that I will do what I can to make sure that they are treated well, and receive the best information and service. I'm not going to give you free stuff, but I'm not going to screw you either. I am your advocate. Speaking of freebies... The other night I was hanging out in an area of downtown Tulsa. You the know the one? The small one? That corner where the people are? Yeah, that one... around 1st and Elgin. On three separate occasions my friend and I were approached by random men and hit up for money. Each took a different approach and I had to wonder if they got together for the night and drew straws to see who would get what story that night. Man number one: Prayed for us... big mistake. I've had this happen to me on at least one other occasion, it too in the downtown Tulsa area. So the man gets down on one knee and says a little prayer. I don't remember what the prayer was about. I was too busy wondering what the hell was going to happen when he was done. He then lifts his head, wipes a tear from his cheek and say "Could I have a quarter?" I thanked the man for his prayer but sorry, no quarter. So... Yes, I'm a heartless bastard. Man Number Two: Had on a backpack, missed his bus, and could he have ten bucks? Nope, no Hamilton for him either. Man Number Three: Comes walking over proudly proclaiming his sobriety and recounting a story about how he works at "that building over there", the Williams building, and showing us the business cards of two taxi drivers he knows and could he have a few bucks for fare? Do I need to mention that this was well after midnight? I lied and told him that I had spent all my money already. Sorry bud, I'm not as sober as you are, but I put it on my debit card. I still had a couple twenties on me. Since moving back to Tulsa I haven't had to deal with as many panhandlers as I did while I was living in Dallas. There, I lived pretty close to downtown and would get hit up nearly every time I would go to the corner 7-11 for some snacks. It got pretty fucking annoying. I would see a guy for the first time and he'd hit me up for some cash, telling me some story about cab fare, or some other such nonsense. Then every other time he'd just say "hey man", nod his head up, give me an expectant look, and flip up a hand near his waist. I'd usually just shake my head and go on in. Occasionally I'd give the guy a few bucks on the way out, even though we both knew it was just a handout. I considered it insurance for the next time I got a hankering for a late night Slurpee. My favorite experience was having some totally whacked out lady knock on my front door and try to sell me on some story about bus fare back home. She only had about two whole teeth left in her mouth and looked like she could gain about twenty pounds and still be considered skeletal. She got no money either. I politely declined to have her take down my address so that she could send me the money later. Later, being when somebody broke out the driver's side window of my car and stole my little Panasonic portable cd player; while I was home, during the day. I was more pissed off that I had to get my window repaired than I was that my cd player was stolen. I was even more pissed off when I realized that I had lost a copy of a Dream Theater's fan club only cd of demo versions of their songs. It was in the player. Nowadays I hide the player under the seat in some attempt to fool myself into believing that doing so will keep people from busting out my window again. I no longer take rare cd's with me in my car. Duh...I know. I know! One friend once came out of a store to notice that her tire had gone flat. Luckily for her there was a helpful soul nearby that would change her tire for her. He also happened to be stranded (happens a lot doesn't it?) and could use a few bucks for bus fare. Who could turn down a man willing to let the air out your tire and then change it for you? So, who to believe? Are we to assume that every person that approaches us looking for a few bucks is nothing more than freeloader looking for easy money? I do now. I've heard the stories again and again. I've even seen one of those dirty, haggard looking men from the median walk over to a better car than mine and drive off. And why does every sign ever made out of cardboard with an appeal for money also have to include the phrase "God bless"? Are we to assume it a sign from God to give them money? I wish I could take a stranger at face value if they came to me in need. I would give what I had in a heartbeat if I thought I was really helping someone and not just throwing money away to some panhandler. I shudder to think that should I ever need a helping hand from my fellow man that I might be met with the same skepticism and callousness as I exhibit towards others. We get the society we ask for... Have you ever considered the money we would save if we didn't have to buy things like locks, security systems, jails and police services? I know its unrealistic, but its a thought. |
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