"As great thinkers from Solomon to Linkin Park have observed, life can be a meaningless void of numbing repetition occasionally punctuated by brief fits of happiness and/or orgasm. You've probably thought along these same lines from time to time, especially if you are a high school sophomore who gets picked on a lot.

So what is to be done? Solomon recommends that you 'fear God and keep his commandments' (Ecc. 12:13b). But God doesn't exist, probably, and even if you talk yourself into believing that he does, fearing him and scrambling to keep his commandments will make you even more miserable than you were before -- trust me on this. Linkin Park recommends that you buy their latest album, Meteora, available at all music stores and on Amazon.com. But will piling up material goods make you any happier? "