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11.22.2004
blah blah.. I'm going through a "tired of thinking" phase.... and having believability issues.... spending way to much time staring over people's shoulders... creating elaborate scenarios in my brain... not making eye contact... walking too fast past people when I should stop and chat... obsessing about small issues that I know I should not waste time thinking about... realizing that blogs are like life; you're either entertaining or you're honest... pandering, selling out, giving the people what they want... its all the same isn't it? Can we really claim any sort of success if we accomplish the same level of entertainment value as a flickering tube filled with inane bullshit? We should just make it official and bulldoze the libraries and schools. We've lost our taste for such things. Its scary to think that people trust me to make decisions for them and get angry when I present them with the information to make their own decisions. I relive a recurring interaction. I control the variables. I can predict the reaction I will get. People rarely surprise me anymore. If they would look into my eyes they would see them saying... "Please do something unexpected!" It happens... just not often enough to keep my optimism fueled. Tonight a man walking towards the grocery store entrance fumbled around in his pockets and dropped some paper onto the parking lot. As I walked towards what he dropped I could see it was money. I picked it up and walked faster to catch up with him. A ten and a one, crumpled up. "Sir, you dropped this. I guess you might be needing it" I said. "Hey thanks." He hands me a dollar "Buy yourself something." I made a gesture to refuse the offer but took the dollar anyways. I think I might put it up on my wall. Watched "All the Real Girls", decent movie, it made me sad though. I'm just glad nodoby died in some freak accident, I would have had to throw something. Watched some of "Chelsea Walls", that movie Jeff Tweedy did the soundtrack for. It bored me to sleep several times over. If there was a point please let me know because I returned it after only "watching" about an hour's worth. yes.. yes... irony, I know. I never said that I was any different than anyone else, that, you see, is the saddest part of all. I'm trying though... |
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