NEW YORK: In what may be the most bizarre story to come out of the great power outages that swept the East Coast and New York City. Internal documents leaked from power companies involved in the crisis show that the outages where carefully coordinated by F&B Corp. and the Republican party. The documents, which included several grainy black and white 8x10 photos of power companies executives with their various mistresses, contained several memos from high up in the Whitehouse urging the power executives to launch "Project Coffee Grounds".

"PCG was the 'way out there in left field' idea that we could stop any unwanted political activity with a strategic blackout of the major east coast area. We have a few areas that we could use to instigate a catastrophic power cascade like you saw yesterday. Whitehouse offcials were freaked when they learned about a massive political event this Friday, so they sent the word that got the whole ball rolling" reported our anonymous source.

The political event that sent such a chill through the Whitehouse was a planned internet wide event to lampoon the Fox News Network for their frivalous lawsuit against Al Franken's new book who they say uses the phrase "Fair and Balanced" in the title, violating their copyright. Whitehouse insiders have admitted off the record that a special department of the President's own staff has been writing critical news stories for the network since they claimed the Whitehouse in 2000. The Republican National Convention is open about the critical roll they play in forming what the network reports. RNC spokesman admits, "Well, just look at the people on the show, hell, they scream out GOP operatives. You'd have to be daft not to notice. How many hours of Fox do you have to watch, with the constant screaming about liberals to realize that we're writing this stuff with automated computer software we purchased at a garage sale back in '92".

The GOP credits the Fox network for all of the political gains they have made in the past few years. Once they realized the success they were having with their pilot program, a blowhard right wing radio host that was told to "just tell liberal jokes all day" they rolled out their big project, a television network that was staffed with hand picked political hacks willing to repeat the GOP scripts. "Once we realized the cost saving potential in having all of our news stories already pre-written then we found we could be on the air faster and cheaper than all the other networks, and viewers knew what to expect from us." I.M. Phair, program director admits with only a few concessions to the strategy, "The only downside is that none of us actually believe this crap, but now you drive around the country and people are sittind around in Bars and Restaraunts repeating the 'news' that we pushed. Its like living in an episode of the Twilight Zone."

The Whitehouse is worried that a network of "news" sites on the internet staffed with voluteers and independents might dilute the power of their propaganda. These sites tend to report events as they see them and not usually in line with what the news networks are spinning for the sake of their advertisers and their political backers. This has caused no small concern for the Whitehouse staff that is starting to focus on the messages for the upcoming presidential elections. "How are we supposed to keep up the image of Bush as a towering Father Figure that will trounce the Democrats with the power of his popularity if you have a thousands little internet sites out there with hundreds of thousands of people discussing ways they are going to defeat Bush. It breaks the illusion that we are trying to create. We see politcal opinion like cattle drives, when you get everybody all grouped together and moving in one directions you get results, but when you let the cows just decide for themselves where they want to go then all hell breaks loose. That's what we have now, all hell breaking loose, we're just trying to get everybody back on track. Fox is our cowboys, our herders." Explained the Presidential Spokeman in Friday morning's press conference.